Today’ s topic, Dear Reader is Happiness vs. Pleasure. I had the concept introduced to me a few weeks ago by someone I respect. She told me about the Dalai Lama’s distinction between pleasure and happiness. The basic idea is that the things that bring us pleasure now, can cause our unhappiness in the long term. I think the Eagles have a great line about that in “New Kid in Town”.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this as it applies to my personal situation. I know that my ultimate happiness will come from the freedom to choose to live my life as I see fit. On terms I set for myself. In the company of those people I choose to spend time with. It will not come by the things I acquire or the professional achievements I earn.
To that end I’ve decided to adopt advice from His Holiness who says, one ought to always ask oneself before making a choice: “Will this bring me happiness?” I’ve performed this simple practice for just a few days, and noticed immediate results. While I normally would do certain things without thinking, I am now becoming more conscious of the effect of my actions. Even a simple thing like taking on an unpleasant yet necessary task, or buying something that I don’t really need – is a choice that, once made, either brings me closer to happiness or discontentment. I’m trying to embrace this simple shift in perspective as the most powerful tool I have in bringing about real, positive change in my life. It’s the Butterfly Effect.
Sometimes we’re so mired in our own misery it seems impossible to change our circumstances. It feels the effort required is herculean and impossible to achieve alone. I’m beginning to see that through small, yet deliberate actions anyone can set their feet on a different path and begin to live more happily. A wholesale change is not necessary and need not happen all at once. Making it a habit to be aware of the choices we make is the simplest, best way to truly achieve happiness.
To that end, October is the month of “no spending”. I read about this in a blog and was impressed that a family of 4 could live for 30 days on $250.00. This concept excludes necessities like your mortgage, utilities and boils down to not buying anything outside of food and toiletries. I decided to try to live on the same amount for myself. I have an arrangement with the person who cooks for me to spend $200 a month on 40 meals (10 meals a week at about $5 a meal) so that takes up the majority of that and leaves a $50 for anything else.
So far, so not so good. In the spending department anyway. In the past 4 days I’ve eaten drive thru (off my WW plan too!) and bought expensive coffee b/c I woke up VERY late and didn’t have time to make any. In the catagory of the good news, I did it all with the $50 cash I withdrew and I still have over $20 left. Also, I was aware I was making a choice that navigated me away from my goal to be free and happy.
I did make some positive choices. I unsubscribed from every shopping email I normally receive. No more Home Depot sale notices, or Coldwater Creek new fall collections. I’m going to get on the list that will stop all the catalogs from coming to my door. I read in another No Spending blog how that removes the temptation and doesn’t create a false need. I also intend to end my co-dependent relationship with Time Warner Cable in November.
Now, I know Dear Reader, you may be skeptical about this last declaration. I don’t blame you. Television and I have been friends for most of my life and I feel I’ve known Cable almost as long. Again, I have to ask myself, “Does paying $160 a month to watch other people living their lives and traveling the globe make me happy? Wouldn’t I be more happy if I were living my life and traveling when and where I wanted to?” It helps that the new digital standard will be finalized in February 2009. My theory is that as long as I have access to the major networks (in HD no less!) and Netflix I ought to have enough to keep a normal person occupied. I’ll keep the Internet though Time Warner, I’m too lazy to change my address to save two or three bucks. But dumping the cable channels, that’s over a hundred dollars a month I can put into savings or pay down my CC’s with. That’s a potential savings of twelve hundred dollars a year.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
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